I Fail as a Mother...

Didn’t sleep well for the whole last night. I wept in the car on our way back from Taiping to KL. I did one of the most stupid thing in my motherhood’s journey during the dinner last night. Very sad and down at the same time. I always believe, teaching children does not require harshness… Sweet talk to them when educating them on the right thing to do is always the better way instead of using ‘weapons’ at times… I believe, slowly talk to them to guide them the proper way is always not a difficult task to do.

But last night, I FAILED thoroughly as a mother. The concept which I have always strongly believe in seems cannot work out. Kimi is very playful, and at his age now, I believe, most boys also are playful and naughty, so does my son. I do understand this so I always try some soft ways to guide him properly but then the stubbornness in him seems like getting worse nowadays.

He brought his toys cars to the dinner last night. He was playing with them and also playing with some games from my mobile. On and off, he was showing his playfulness on the dinner table. When food were served, I wanted him to eat his rice but he refused to eat. He took my plate of rice and turned them upside down. Okay… my patience was being challenged at that time. I picked the rice up and put it aside. I ordered another place of rice and wanted him to stop playing and to eat his rice. He refused again and kept on playing with this toys cars. I was very angry by then… I beat him in public and of course he cried very loudly. This added to my level of heat to the max!!

I never think of one day I will do this in public to my son. Very sad at the same time very disappointed... I very disappointed in myself for not being a good mum, for not being able to guide him correctly, for not being able to control my temper properly!! No one can understand the feelings I have at that time, except for myself. 

Very sad… Even now think of it also still feel very heart pain… Sorry Kimi, Mummy does not want it to be in this way :( Mummy knows that I have hurt you, but it hurts me deeper when I see you crying. Even until now when I am writing this blog post, tears are still rolling in my eyes when I think of what I did last night….

Hubby wanted him to say sorry to everyone on the table for what he did. And Kimi went whole table to say sorry using his own cute way…. It melted my heart when he did this and made me regret more over what I had done. Sorry Boy!

And this is my cheerful Kimi @ 2 years, 9 months & 2 weeks’ old ~

Nico @ 6 months' old

6th June 2012:

Nico will be at 6 months' old in another 3 more days. Today I myself brought him to the hospital for his check-up and jabs as his Daddy couldn't make it to accompany us. Luckily Nico was quite co-operative throughout the whole process. Although the waiting was a bit too long, he was not that fussy and sat obediently in his stroller playing with me and the nurses there. Otherwise, if he gets fussy, I think his crying sound will be heard at everywhere. Nico had his 3rd dose of Rota virus vaccine today as well.

Nico weighs 9.7 kgs @ almost 6 months' old :) His pediatrician told me that Nico is a bit over weight at his age. But Paed informs me that this is fine, he is a healthy baby. So his weight is nothing to worry about. Nico can start on his solid food already too. That's good to know!

So, I have prepared these for him to try once he reaches 6 months in another few more days ~ Will also try to prepare some porridge for him too to see which one he prefers :)

And, one more happy thing! Nico finally manage to TURN his body!! He is a bit clumsy whenever he is trying to do his turns and gets very angry when he cannot not make it to turn his body. However, on Monday night when I was putting him on the bed to sleep, he finally TURNED himself! I do not want to miss out this important milestone of him, so I quickly ask Hubby to snap a photo for Nico before he falls down from the turn. See how happy is Nico!

Time flies! My baby Nico is turning 6 months very soon ~