But last night, I FAILED thoroughly as a mother. The concept which I have always strongly believe in seems cannot work out. Kimi is very playful, and at his age now, I believe, most boys also are playful and naughty, so does my son. I do understand this so I always try some soft ways to guide him properly but then the stubbornness in him seems like getting worse nowadays.
He brought his toys cars to the dinner last night. He was playing with them and also playing with some games from my mobile. On and off, he was showing his playfulness on the dinner table. When food were served, I wanted him to eat his rice but he refused to eat. He took my plate of rice and turned them upside down. Okay… my patience was being challenged at that time. I picked the rice up and put it aside. I ordered another place of rice and wanted him to stop playing and to eat his rice. He refused again and kept on playing with this toys cars. I was very angry by then… I beat him in public and of course he cried very loudly. This added to my level of heat to the max!!
I never think of one day I will do this in public to my son. Very sad at the same time very disappointed... I very disappointed in myself for not being a good mum, for not being able to guide him correctly, for not being able to control my temper properly!! No one can understand the feelings I have at that time, except for myself.
Very sad… Even now think of it also still feel very heart pain… Sorry Kimi, Mummy does not want it to be in this way :( Mummy knows that I have hurt you, but it hurts me deeper when I see you crying. Even until now when I am writing this blog post, tears are still rolling in my eyes when I think of what I did last night….
Hubby wanted him to say sorry to everyone on the table for what he did. And Kimi went whole table to say sorry using his own cute way…. It melted my heart when he did this and made me regret more over what I had done. Sorry Boy!
And this is my cheerful Kimi @ 2 years, 9 months & 2 weeks’ old ~
4 comments:
Cheer up SY. Don't feel bad or put the blame to urself. I believed kids at this age really need to be taught..at least let him know its wrong to do that. Kampateh SY! =)
Shin Yi, I understand what you feel right now. As a mom, I also always lost temper. But we as a human being, it's unavoidable that we will have up & down emotion. As long as your boy understand why you become so angry.. Cheer up!
For starters, I have a daughter who is 2months younger than your son. I would say you didn't fail as a mother, but you are acting realistic enough to know when to use hard or soft approach on kids. Personally I felt you shouldn't have this guilt feeling, don't think that you owe them a million, in fact you should teach them while they are still young. People said child's brain is like a piece of white paper, you write in as much of knowledge and life principles in them.I am practising the same, sometimes hard, sometimes soft, and let me tell u, she is still as close to me everyday. After the hard teachings, the next day I will consult her and explain why I use the approach.You will be the best to know how he behaves and communicate more with him. He surely will remain loving you forever!
Don't be sad SY. I can imagine what you were going through. I am only an aunt and I did feel bad whenever I lost control and beat my nephews and niece. You're still a great mom and I believe you're doing your best. Jia you! Always believe in yourself. :)
Post a Comment