Split Love?

My parents-in-law brought Kimi to KL on Tuesday. They had some things to do so they left Kimi with us. Spent a couple of days with Kimi in KL and so happened that I was also on MC. We brought Kimi together with us during the sudden visit to Gynae as I was not feeling well on Tuesday morning. Kimi saw his little brother from the scanning machine, clapped his hands and told us, 'Baby, Baby'... He looks so excited at that time. At that moment, I feel that, I am a blessed mother of two very soon!

Since I was on MC, so I had the chance of taking afternoon nap with Kimi at home and also spent more time bonding with him. I spent my time on teaching him to recognize some alphabets, building up toys bricks with him, watching his favourite cartoons together. I told myself, I must make full use of this 2 days. After this 2 days, I am not sure if I can have the same quality time with Kimi or not in the near future with the arrival of our Baby No. 2.

After sending him off this morning, a sudden sadness made me feel very uneasy. I am not too sure if I am going to see Kimi again in KL before I go for my delivery. The next time I see him either in KL or Taiping, I might be carrying another baby on my arms. Really very mixed feelings!

I suddenly have a feeling of I seem to be treating Kimi unfairly by having a 2nd baby at this time. I am not too sure if I am able to shower Kimi with 100% of my love as what I have been doing for the past 26 months with the arrival of our 2nd Baby soon. At this age of 2 years old, I am sure Kimi needs us a lot in guiding him to do the right thing. I am sure he needs us to be there when he wants to learn a new word. I am sure he needs us to be there to answer him when he is asking, 'Why this? Why that?'..... But with all these uncertainties, I am not too sure if I can cope well for both of them at the same time or not.

Perhaps I am a bit nervous when I think of I might be delivering anytime from now. Or perhaps I am too worry on how Kimi will react after the arrival of his new sibling. I seriously cannot describe the feelings I have in me right now... I know it is unfair to the Baby as well when I have these thoughts on my mind, but I just can’t stop thinking of it. Will I be splitting my loves between both of them? *Sigh* 

Baby, please bear with Mummy for a while. I think as of now, all I need is the transition period. Once the transition period is over, Mummy will be fine soon! Mummy promises to you, I will definitely shower you with tonnes of love equally as how I love your elder brother!! Muacks ~~
 

~ Family Photo of Three ~
I think most probably the next round we take the Family Photo, it will be four persons already.

 

 

~ Kimi with Daddy and Mummy ~

 

 

~ Kimi @ 26 months+ ~

 

I hope that everything can work out smoothly on me. And hope that I can be a good mother for Kimi and the little one who is arriving very soon.